Who I Would Hypothetically Marry If I Had to Marry a Famous Person
Ruby’s Jason Bateman post inspired me to contribute my fantasy famous-person-marriage to the blogosphere. Like Ruby, I too am married, and I love my husband (so Partrick and/or Denzel, if you’re reading this, it’s a compliment, not a come-on).
With that caveat out of the way, I also want to pose a question: What ever happened to polyandry? Is anyone still doing that anymore? Probably not because women across the globe probably realized that one husband is more than enough to manage (ha!). However, since this is my fantasy famous-person-marriage and I can use my imagination to edit out the conflicts and double-doses of farting to which I would undoubtedly be subjected, I would choose a polyandrous union between…(drumroll please)….
and Denzel Washington.
Yes, I realize Patrick Stewart is going to be 70 this year. I don’t care. The man is H-O-T. Plus, he was Captain Picard, and as a Trekkie, I find this undeniably attractive. (No, I don’t go to those creepy conferences dressed like a cast member. I just like the show. ) But even without the Trek-factor, he’s got that bald head that makes me wanna rub it like a crystal ball. I like bald guys. But only if they’re not insecure about it, which I seriously doubt he is.
Denzel is also gets my vote based on sheer aesthetics, although I’m sure he’s a lovely person inside, too. Especially w/ a mustache and that 1940s getup from Devil in a Blue Dress. I realize he’s not bald, but that intense, broody, Malcom-X-yness more than makes up for it.
Patrick is the husband that would make me boeuf bourguignon and buy me expensive wine. Denzel is the guy that would spend all afternoon writing a sonnet about my hair. Both efforts would be a competition to see which one got to rub my feet that night.
Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she?